:|

Feelin' extremely weird today. I guess that all this 'nostalgic' thing is gettin' over me more than I had expected! Can't belive I'm having this fucking thoughts going up n' down my mind right now.
I've been out of you for so long and WHY do you have to come back again? I hate you, well... I don't know if the exact word to define my feelings about you is HATE, because I do not believe in hate, hatin' someone is just lovin' them in certain form, and of course I DON'T love you anymore. I've been out of that since so many years, and that feels like heaven. I hate to admit that you're still the love of my life :| jesus, that words refering about you suck even more.
Well, I'm going too fast, and I almost forget what my point was. I'm confused. Of course I don't have feelings about you, I haven't see you in like... 2 years? well, not really. Guess the last time was last year, saw you in my territory (? LOL, it feels so weird to know that the person you loved that much is just a stranger right now. Things were tough for me. You made the decision in the WORST time of my life, I felt I was living in hell...
I miss that feeling of 'being loved', knowing that someone is really falling for you, taking care of you... I guess its been so long... Sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend... but at the same time I feel so stupid at writing this... there's so much more that just having someone by your side. Life is also about FAMILY, FRIENDS, BEING HEALTHY, enjoying those 'little' things that get me alive everyday.... BUT... I also wanna be loved again. And there is where I get so emotional. And all my authoestime problems blow my mind and drived me crazy... Great, here we go again...